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No Do-Overs

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Summer Day 24
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“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

No Do-Overs

In our family, when one of our children acts unkindly, we ask if they’d like a “do-over.”  It’s a moment of parental grace where the child rethinks the mistake and has a second chance to respond with respect and love.

Everyone’s heart is healed. Everyone feels loved. As parents, we love this moment chock-­full of discipleship and grace!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if real life had do­-overs?  Imagine you’re too busy to make good
eye contact while your child shared her feelings? Or perhaps, too tired to mentally engage in
that time of play? Just take a do­-over!

Unfortunately, more often than not, the moment passes, and we heartbreakingly realize we
missed the opportunity to show love.

In the Bible Psalm 144:4 says, “our days are like a fleeting shadow,” and  James 4:14 says, “our
life is but a mist that appears for a little while and vanishes.”

My call to all you beautiful mamas is this:  life is short; love your children well today.
Frankly, this is also a call to myself. Tears well up in my eyes as countless scenes of our family’s
daily life flash through my mind:  half-­listening, on the phone too much, over-­scheduled,
mixed-­up priorities.

More tears come as I recollect, in contrast, the constant whisper of the Holy Spirit to me,
“Love them well.” Not kidding here.­ God tells me to love my children well nearly every day.
He is a good Father, and He gently nudges me so lovingly.

And so, no “Mama­ Guilt” allowed while reading this! The best response is a simple
acknowledgement deep in the heart that improvements are needed, along with a genuine,
giant step toward God.

Sound impossible to change things in your home? Romans 7:18b says, “I have the desire to
do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” Be relieved because God will do it all through you.

Have a soft heart to authentically and deeply pursue God, so He can teach you the art of
loving your children well.

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8)

Go Deeper:
– ­Test your heart. Are you living by your own thoughts and desires or the Holy Spirit’s? Love
is a fruit of the Holy Spirit in your life. Invite Him to lead and guide you as you love your
children well.

­Remember that God’s grace can cover over your mistakes. Pray daily that your gracious Father
will allow your children to remember the good experiences and the times when you loved
them well, and not remember the less­ than ­perfect times.

What’s next?
– ­Commit to pray, then plan…again & again. Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit your actions to the
Lord, and your plans will succeed.” Dream with God how it looks to love your children well.
This summer is a perfect opportunity to improve! In your prayer time, ask God for His schedule, His activities, His divine plan. Then make your plans accordingly.

Kristi Valentines study summer

Join the Community! Give hope, prayer, and encouragement below. Post a comment & talk about it.
Kristi Valentine

Kristi Valentine

Healed from leukemia 17 years ago, Kristi offers an energetic witness to the full life and restoration God graciously gives. Passionate about faith, family, prayer, and praise, she loves Psalm 40.

"...he set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God…”(v. 2-3)

Kristi loves to sing "a song of praise to our God, as He makes her steps secure” atop the Rocky Mountains! So far, she has summited 13 of Colorado's 14,000ft peaks with her husband and 2 boys.After 35 years in California, Kristi and her family have made their home in Colorado, where they delight in spending time together hiking, biking, playing music, or canoeing.
Kristi Valentine

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10 Comments

  1. This study is so good that I had to reread it! I asked one of my children if she liked the idea of do-over. I think she was so thrown off that she didn’t know how to respond! I’m looking forward to using this idea. So even though I can’t use the back button – à la myTiVo remote – in real life, I love your exhortation to not allow any “mama guilt” to enter my mind. Thanks, Kristi!

    • I love it, Daphne! No mama guilt, for sure!!!! God is our great restorer & redeemer and He is working out all things for the good for us who love Him. <3

  2. I will definitely work on using the “do-over” concept. Even if there’s no do-overs in real life, I want to teach this to my children. I have no doubt they will say it to me as well. Thank God for His grace! Thank you so much for the suggestion!

    • Hi! I am so glad this practical idea can possibly work for your family. We love it! It empowers our children and strengthens our love for them.

  3. Kristi, God is speaking this whole message to me also…almost daily. Thank you for this gracious, “no-guilt” call to love our children well. Beautiful!

    • I love that he is saying the same thing to you too, Mari Jo. And just like you mentioned, He is gently nudging me to become a better and better mom. He is so slow to anger and gentle and guilt-free, isn’t He! A good good father indeed!

  4. Kristi, this is so good! Thank you so much for sharing your heart and wisdom!! This reminder to hear God’s whispers and love our children well is one I can truly understand too!

    • I love that he is whispering the same thing to you too, Kristall. Our heavenly father values children soon much! The work we are doing right now is eternal and possibly the most important work we will ever do.

  5. It’s SOOOO important to love your children well!! I know it may seem like we have a long time with our kids in our home, but it goes by in the BLINK of an eye!! They are grown and moved out before you know it!! I am so grateful to the Lord for encouraging me to pray Psalm 90:12, ” Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom,” when our children were growing up! Praying this little prayer helped us to savor each day as much as possible! God is so great!!

    • Beautiful insight, Deb! I love your perspective from the finish line, looking back.

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