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When Your Child Does Not Fit the Mold

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love your children day 4
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered  it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:1-8

 “The measure of love is to love without measure.” – St. Francis de Sales

 

  • Call your prayer partner for your 10-minute prayer call. Keep trying to connect until you get to pray together. This tiny habit of praying with a friend regularly will truly change your life! It has changed mine!
  • It’s time to meet with your Jesus! He is the One who loves you completely and wants you to come to Him with all of your burdens and cares. Ask Jesus to speak to your heart this week about loving your children and accepting them for who they are. Ask Him to show you your children’s hearts and how to love them well in the power of the Holy Spirit.
  • Read 1 Corinthians 13:1-8. Meditate on this whole passage of scripture today. Notice the different details about how “love” behaves.

When Your Child Does Not Fit the Mold

Do you ever feel like your children don’t fit the mold? Maybe it is your Sunday school mold or your kindergarten mold or homeschooling mold–your child just does not fit in?

You know, the “calm, quiet, polite, yes ma’am, no ma’am, thank you, please, always has their napkins in their lap, and never chews with their mouths open” kids?

I never did. As a matter of fact, I had the ones (particularly one) that would always get into trouble everywhere we went.

She was the one child who was into EVERYTHING and constantly had to touch every little thing she saw! She frequently had her little toe right on the edge of the line that you told her not to cross. And to make matters worse, she possessed more energy than any other child I had ever known, and this energy kept going and going until the very last moment when we put her to bed at night. Oh, I’m still tired just thinking about it!

That was my Christie.

But you know what I learned? God made Christie hugely curious, not the normal curious, but the curious that constantly wanted to learn and engage her brain.

The only problem is that sometimes it came across as disobedience because I could rarely keep up with her, and it seemed like she frequently challenged me when in reality, she just wanted to keep going, learning more and more and was rarely content to sit on her laurels.

I wish I would have understood her better when she was little. I wish I would have given her grace more and not taken the things that she did to be disobedience. She needed constant learning, challenges, and stimulation for her little growing brain. (She is still like this today as a 23-year-old!)

Thankfully, God gave me and my husband wisdom each day to know how to parent our children. He gave us the strength, patience and perseverance we needed to raise our children up for Him, and also friends and family who supported us.

Ask God to give you everything you need to be the best parents for your children. Pray daily for your children and for you and your husband to see their hearts and accept them the way God made them. Lean into God and try to give grace as much as possible.

Treat your children the way that they can BECOME, according to faith, grace, and the gifts God has placed inside of them, not the way they are acting. Most people will rise to what’s expected of them. Expect great things from your children!

Catch your children being good as much as possible, even in the little things. Say things like, “You are so kind! That was so sweet of you to let your sister have the big chair,” or “You are so trustworthy! Thank you for waiting for Mommy to help you cross the street!”

When your child makes a mistake, call their attention to it, discipline them as quickly as possible, and move on! Don’t drag out your discipline! Take care of things BEFORE Daddy gets home. Don’t make poor Dad come home to a house of turmoil and stress. Lastly, let you children know you forgive them and that Mommy and Daddy make lots of mistakes too.

Oh, if you happen to have a Christie, take heart. They are wonderful blessings! My Christie is now a happily married woman to an amazing godly man, and they both love Jesus with their whole hearts! She graduated with a computer science degree, devours several books at a time, and is still curious and loves to learn.

I have decided that I am so happy my children don’t fit the mold! Life is just so much more interesting this way!

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6.

Question to ponder

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered  it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

  • Pray and ask God to show you areas of your parenting where you could put this Scripture into practice.

Faith- Filled Idea

  • If you haven’t already, print out this week’s Mom Tips, pray and pick a couple to accomplish this week. Check them off as you complete them. Rejoice that you have added something positive to your life and the life of your family!

Loev children day 4

Deb Weakly

Co-founder at Help Club for Moms
Deb is married to her soulmate of 26 years, Randy. They have two grown children, Christie and Jack, and one precious, answer to prayer son-in-love named Alex.

If there was one thing Deb would love to share with you is that God is personal and loves you as you are. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved by our amazing God! Come as you are! His loving presence can be practically known and experienced. He is not a God who is far away, He is dearly near and easily found. He longs for you to come to Him!

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6 Comments

  1. This is still one of my favorite studies Deb! SO encouraging!

    • Thanks Kristall!! You’re such a blessing to me!

  2. Deb this study is just so encouraging to me! I’m already seeing Carianna, at 1.5 years old, showing signs of this! If I say “jump” she never says “how high.” She is just so difficult and I find it so hard to have patience with her. So reading this study has already helped me recognize that I need to embrace who she is, just the way God made her–attitude and all!, and adapt my parenting style to her. My son Colter is much more of a people pleaser, even though he has a very strong opinion, but still I parent him so differntly and don’t have quite as much push back on things. There are so many times I wish I could fast forward to see who Carianna will truly be in say 15-20 years!! I so pray that just like your Christie she grows up to be a Godly woman of faith with much creativity 🙂 Thank again for sharing these topics and speaking on your heart!!

    • Thank you so much Kristall! I am so glad that your Carianna is a wonderfully busy little girl! God has amazing plans for her!I know because our gifts show up in childhood, and she is already showing her strength. What a blessing!

  3. Thanks so much Mari Jo! I absolutely love your precious children!! We are blessed mama’s! 🙂

  4. Love, love, love this wisdom Deb! I can so identify with having strong-willed children. Sometimes I forget to be patient because I have my own agenda…and the creativity gets on my nerves. Thanks for this helpful study and reminding us to love without measure. I needed this!

    AND btw…what a lovely, gorgeous, thoughtful, intelligent daughter you have! I just love her!

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