On Loving Your Husband as His Wife

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”-Ephesians 5:33 ESV

A couple of weeks ago, I was hit with the hard reality that my husband gets what is left of me at the end of every long day. After some heavy self-reflection and prayer, the Lord showed me that although I have been loving my husband, I have not been loving him as his wife. Most times and I hate to admit this, but I love him as a mother. I feed him, care for him, fold his clothes, and pick up after him. I see myself treating him as though he is my oldest child instead of my husband and the one person Scripture deems as my “one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31).

The parts of life that I deem as mundane had really begun to show through in my marriage all the way to my husband’s heart. While I know that loving him in other ways is healthy and good, I do believe that my focus should be on loving him as his wife as defined in God’s Word.

Scripture says that as wives, we should respect (Ephesians 5:33) and submit to our husbands out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). But what exactly does loving your husband as his wife look like in everyday life? It means honoring his time, respecting his feelings, spending time with him when he needs it, and most of all, reflecting on your marriage in the way you purely conduct yourself (1 Peter 3:1-6). Essentially, not putting him and his needs on the back-burner constantly. Believe it or not, your husband really does need you to listen to him, to show your love for him, and to be present in the moment with him.

Miriam Webster defines respect as “an act of giving particular attention” and “expressions of high or special regard.” How quickly I realized I was not loving my husband in this way! Pardon me, but he had become just another check off my list of things for the day!

There is a reason why our Heavenly Father placed our husbands right behind Himself in the hierarchy of our hearts (1 Corinthians 11:3). I can truly attest that once I started placing my husband back into his rightful place, the things that had gone astray in my life have quickly begun to fall back in line. I encourage you, sweet friend, that if you feel your priorities concerning your husband are falling short, take it to the Lord in prayer; you’ll be amazed at what He shows you! If you love him as his wife, you love Him (Christ) as His wife (the Church)- and that’s the most important relationship of all!


Kelsey Stewart and the Help Club for Moms Team

Kelsey Stewart
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