“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 2 Corinthians 4:17
The other day, I was talking to the mom of a 16-year-old, and she was telling me about her child’s current behavioral issues. I have no experience dealing with a rebellious teen, so I just offered encouragement and prayer. Then she commented on teens being difficult. Afterward, my 13-year-old told me she would be an easy teenager since she was such a difficult little kid. Her words were true, and her sentiment sweet, but something about that proclamation just didn’t sit well with me. I pondered the conversation for a while, surprised that my daughter views herself that way. I came to realize there were two reasons why this conversation.
First, those hard years were harder on her than on me. She had a lot of struggles, and it broke my heart to see my innocent little girl constantly struggling. Yes, she was cranky and rude to me at the end of the day, but anyone would be. I didn’t want her to feel like she had already used her allotment of grace. In her difficult time, she grew in strength, grace, and compassion; I want her to know I hold nothing against her for that.
Secondly, having easy children is not the goal of parenting. I didn’t have kids to make my life easier. Raising my children has been challenging; they have caused me immense struggle and heartache. They have brought me to my knees in prayer, which is a good thing. I needed to grow and change. As a result, I can be a better parent and a kinder, more patient person now.
I want my daughters to be bold and strong. I don’t know what they will face in life, but I know that they will face it with the strength and courage that God is already cultivating in them. The present struggles and pain are refining them in a way that coasting through life never could. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17). If we want to prepare our children for greatness in whatever they do, we must teach them that the road will not be smooth, but it is worth the struggle for the eternal glory to come.
Children face constant pressure to be who the world wants them to be, so as their moms, we need to reaffirm that we love them and appreciate who God made them to be, for “[they] are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10 ESV). God’s goodness created each of His children with a purpose, giving us everything we need to succeed in that purpose. We must shed light on our children’s gifts; after years of cultivation, those very assets will be what sets them apart as adults. We must remind them that God created them just as they are with a very specific purpose.
After pondering my conversation with my daughter for a few days, I invited her for some alone time and told her what I was sharing with you. While her comment wasn’t out of a place of hurt, nor was it significant to her, I think it was essential to have this conversation to reaffirm that I see her heart, which is beautiful. I hope this message will encourage you to take heart and keep your long-term goals in mind if you have been struggling with a “difficult” child or have seen them working in the world. God made our children the way he wanted them to be, with just the right skills to fit into His perfect plan for their futures. We must observe our children and learn their strengths and gifts to encourage them and steer them down the path God has laid before them. We must remind them that God, their loving Father, has set them apart for greatness (Jeremiah 1:5).
Blessings and Love,
Heather Doolittle & the Help Club for Moms Team
Go Deeper:
- Do you have a difficult child or one going through a difficult season? Have you said or done anything to crush their spirit inadvertently? If so, let go of any condemnation from Satan, repent, and ask God to show you how to do better.
- What can you do to reaffirm your children’s value and help them grow into God’s plan for their lives? How can you help them recognize their gifts?
What’s Next?
For each of your children, make a list of their best qualities, and make it a point to mention them in conversation over the next few days. If you can’t see it because of a strained relationship or a difficult season, don’t worry; I’ve been there too. Ask God to remove any bitterness you may have toward them and to help you love them and see the best in them.
Today, Mike and I give thanks daily for our thriving marriage and three sweet daughters. I will forever love Jesus whose mercy triumphs over judgement (James 2:13). I consider myself blessed to be a part of Help Club For Moms and share the Love, Grace, and Mercy that make my story beautiful.
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