Overcoming Negative Thoughts About Our Children

“Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'” Isaiah 55:7-9

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” – Henry David Thoreau

 

Overcoming Negative Thoughts about Our Children

Isn’t it mind-blowing how God’s thoughts toward us are always good? In verses 10 and 11, a beautiful picture is painted for us to understand what God’s imagination is like. Isaiah explains that God’s thoughts become words that go forth out of His mouth like waters that water the earth. Because his imagination is always right, his words are continually life-giving, and they satisfy (give seed to the sower and bread to the eater (verse 10)). Beyond that, His Word even makes things bring forth (grow) and bud. It won’t return void but WILL accomplish God’s purpose wherever He desires for it to prosper! How amazing and life-giving!

One of the greatest challenges I’ve faced as a mom is negativity in my thoughts about my children. It seems like there is usually one child (or more) going through a hard time or an identity crisis of some kind at any given time. It’s easy to harbor an evil imagination and only focus on the ugly behavior on the surface.

Yet, I know God wants me as a mom to have a healthy and positive imagination about my children as He does: To generate good thoughts to speak LIFE into them by blessing them with God’s words. To carry the same vision He has so they can be who God created them to be.

How can this be done?

In verse 7, there is a clue. It says an unrighteous person should forsake his thoughts and RETURN to the Lord. This implies our thoughts can take us away from the Lord or bring us back to Him. They are extremely powerful because they guide us, sort of like a steering wheel on a car. God wants us to return to Him by thinking like He does.

God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and he desires for us to surrender our imagination to Him. In other words, the way we get back on the right road is to recognize the bad thoughts (lies), replace them with good ones (God’s truth), and choose to meditate on those instead.

Here is a humbling story I would like to share with you as an example. At some point in my life, at a young age (unbeknownst to me), I picked up a negative mindset about large families. It gradually became a stronghold in my mind, and I didn’t even know it was there until I became pregnant with our sixth child. Rejection toward my children began to surface, and negative thoughts constantly bombarded my mind about the size of our family. Thoughts followed with feelings, and resentment came out in my actions toward them. I knew something wasn’t right, so I prayed frequently and kept asking  God to change my heart, to help me love them deeply the way He loved me.

It wasn’t until I became pregnant with our seventh child that my heart changed. I continually asked God for his heart regarding my family during that time. One morning, I woke up very discouraged because of extreme morning sickness. I cried out for God to help me, and I had no idea he would expose the lie I had believed for years. He led me to Psalm 127:3-5 (KJV), which says:

“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

I was completely undone as I read. Tears streamed down my face as I began to recognize and repent of the lie I had believed. I mulled over and meditated on these verses, and I began to think new thoughts like: “Children are a blessing and God’s personal inheritance to me! I should be happy! My children are going to defend me. Wow! God is so good to me to give arrows!” My imagination about my family began to change as these brand-new ideas and thoughts filled my mind. I asked God to forgive me for the wrong mindset I had embraced and told him I believed what He said instead. An exchange of thoughts took place, and a miracle happened. I am so very proud of my family now instead of being ashamed!

Satan wants us to stay stuck in our thoughts and attitudes about our kids, but God’s Word can set us free and help us think new ones. I am still learning, but I have listed below some steps that have helped me turn negative thoughts into positive ones.

  • Be mindful of God’s love.
  • Guard your thoughts toward your children, and don’t let them go unchecked.
  • Recognize depressing, negative thoughts. Address them and give them to God.
  • Repent and forsake them. Ask God for and look for a Scripture to counteract a lie you are believing.
  • Ask God for revelation as you memorize, meditate, and mull it over in your mind until you actually believe it.
  • Stay thankful.

As you begin to do this, I promise you will see change happen. God’s Word is powerful. When you believe the Truth about your children, you will begin to act differently toward and speak life over them. Eventually, your children will begin to see a difference in your attitude, and often, their attitude will change, too. They will be more drawn to Jesus and begin to recognize who they are created to be.

Love,

Mari Jo and the Help Club for Moms Team

 

Questions to ponder: Write the answers to these questions in your journal. (Be very honest with yourself; confronting thoughts from the evil one can be very painful.)

  • Are there any lies you believe about a specific child or your children in general?
  • Are you willing to let God reveal bad thought patterns you may be having and forsake them?
  • What kinds of actions are coming from your thoughts (positive or negative) toward your children?
  • If you are in a rut, can you choose to replace lies with Truth according to God’s word?

Faith-Filled ideas

  • Pray and ask God to help you fill your mind with the Word of God by reading, meditating, or memorizing it daily. Ask the Holy Spirit, the best teacher, to lead you with your child/children (Hebrews 4:12).
  • Recognize and cast down every evil thought or negative imagination, anything that exalts itself against the knowledge of God about them (2 Corinthians 10:5). Then you can also ask the Holy Spirit to change your thinking and to overshadow your mind by bringing key scriptures into your thoughts, specifically for them.
  • Begin to glorify and praise God out of faith because he has good things in store for your child (Romans 1:21 and 1 Corinthians 2:9)
  • Thank God. Children are your inheritance from Him! (Romans 1:21 and Psalm 127:3).
  • Ask God for a specific word for your child. Then speak and pray that Word over them. (Isaiah 44:3 and Jeremiah 29:11)
  • Tell each child every day you love them, and God does too!
  • Hug them often throughout the day.
  • Bless them (not flatter) with your words; affirm them often.
  • Enjoy and spend time with them!
  • Say “I’m sorry” more often.

 

 

Mari Jo Mast
Latest posts by Mari Jo Mast (see all)

20 Comments on “Overcoming Negative Thoughts About Our Children”

  1. I’ve been dredged with negative thoughts towards my son for a while. Being a single parent and having him expelled from two daycares at such a young age made it difficult to view him in a positive light. I almost placed him up for adoption because I didn’t think I could care for him. But after reading your testimony I broke down in tears asked my son to forgive me. I’m new to religion and Christianity but I want to be a better mom and serve my kids the way I should. How do I do that?

    1. Dear sweet Danielle, I am so sorry for everything you are going through. You are such a sweet mom. We would love to gift you the Mothering Kits. You will find more content from Mari Jo in that space. Please email us back at admin@helpclubformoms.com to let us know you are interested. We believe the Mothering Kits would really encourage you as a new Christian mom. God loves you so much; You are never alone. I am praying for you!

      Much love,
      Mama Deb

  2. Mari Jo you are such a wise woman. I love your transparency and am so thankful for your willingness to share your journeys as a mother. I really admire you! I needed to read this. I need to really ponder this. Thank you.

    1. Meagan, thank you for your thoughtful love and kind words! I’m so glad this Devo ministered to you and pray for you to feel God’s manifest presence in your life, especially with your children. You are so so blessed…and He will give you everything you need to raise and equip and love them with His help! You are a wonderful mother for your children…God specifically chose you to parent them!

  3. This is so well-written, I’m so thankful to be on this journey with you!
    You’re an amazing lady!

  4. Such a good word on how children are blessings in God’s eyes and how we can honor that by loving them and not believing lies about them.

  5. This is a powerful quote! “As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” – Henry David Thoreau

  6. This is a wonderful message and relatable for mothers weather it is easy for them to admit or not. Thank you for the wonderful reminder to just pray and look to God when we have those frustrating moments because we all face them now and then. God bless you and your family. Thank you for the touching words of wisdom.

  7. I smile when I think of all the targets that your quiver of arrows will shoot! The battle belongs to the Lord and He is raising an army of prayer warriors in your family.

    1. Thank you so much Daphne for the encouragement! I recieve your prophetic word and believe it! God is faithful! 🙂

  8. I am so thankful for this wonderful Bible study Mari Jo! It’s so easy to be continually frustrated with our children, especially when they are little. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom!

  9. Thank you Mari Jo for a great devotional this morning! This is just what I needed. 🙂 I love the faith-filled ideas and the verses, especially the one about saying sorry more to our kids. That is something I have been leanring. Even though we are parents, we are also humans who are sinful and awful. I want my kids to see that I am not perfect and that I struggle too!

    1. Thanks Rachel, I’m so glad it ministered to you! Saying “I’m sorry” to my kids is one of the most freeing things I’ve experienced as a mom. Yes, we do struggle and I think it softens their hearts when we admit our failures. They need to know we need Jesus just as much as they do. 🙂

  10. Again, MariJo thank you for your encouraging, Christ filled words. You always lead back to Christ. This is a beautiful message.

    1. Thank you Brandi! He is the faithful one…so much hope with Him! May your Tuesday with your little cuties be super blessed! 🙂

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