“…but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not
only to your own interests but also to the interest of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)
As Christians, it is our unconditional love for other people that is the greatest evidence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Making and maintaining friends based on conditional feelings or experiences is not representative of Christ. However, all of that is much easier said than done. We are feeble weak humans and we get our feelings hurt. We also are selfish and desire to have friends who make us feel better about ourselves or who can offer us something valuable when we need it. I truly think that becoming a selfless friend should be one of the ultimate goals of a mature Christian woman.
Being a God-fearing woman and a selfless friend is a powerful combination! In my life, I have seen great benefits in seasons where I have prayed for the Lord to bring me a friend who needed a little extra help or joy in her life. He has brought me ladies who have been hurt, neglected, or left out and with His kindness flowing through me, I have been able to offer hospitality and show His grace. It’s such a great feeling, dear friends!
1 Peter says it so well in chapter 4:10-11:
“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully, administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.”
Friendship can also be your ministry. As a mother, maintaining friends and spending time with them is a sacrifice. You are a busy wife and mommy, after all! But something truly special and even spiritual can happen when two people connect and patiently listen to one another. Stories are shared, experiences are exchanged, and after time, compassion grows in your heart for these companions. It is possible for us all to get to a place of selflessness where we yearn to serve and come alongside our friends without expecting anything in return. Ultimately, modeling dependence on Christ and a life with hands held open towards Him.
“Spiritual friendship is eagerly helping one another know, serve, love and resemble God
in deeper and deeper ways.” Timothy Keller
Pray, pray, pray! Ask the Lord to bring friends into your life who you can serve selflessly. Or if you already have many women you care about, pray that your heart changes towards them in a loving, more empathetic way. Here is a prayer for you to follow. Feel free to write this in your journal and/or pray it out loud:
“Dear Heavenly Father, please help me to be a more compassionate, patient, and selfless friend. I ask that you take my pride, jealously, and criticalness away; and when I look at my friends I see them the way You see them! I desire for your Holy Spirit to flow out of me and to speak words of life that uplift and support the mamas around me. Thank you Jesus for your guidance. I love you. Amen.”