“For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you..” 2 Chronicles 20:12 b, c
Have you come to a place in your life where you desperately desire to change? Maybe you struggle with anxiety or depression, or perhaps your relationship with your husband or one of your children feels broken. You might even say something like my son used to say when he was little and frustrated, “I don’t know what to do because I don’t know what to do!”
I struggled with anxiety for many of my years as a mom. I really wish this wasn’t part of my story, but it is. I felt fearful, mainly because the home I grew up in was terrible and broken, and I knew I didn’t want to replicate it in any way for my kids. I felt worried about not knowing how to be a Christian mom and I was scared of making mistakes and messing up my kids.
I cried out to God and asked Him for help. Many of my prayers echoed Jehosophat’s cry to God when he said “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” That’s the way I felt… I didn’t know what to do, and I was at a loss for how to change.
God answered me and He simply said, “Spend time with Me, Deb.” And so I did. I started reading my Bible and writing the Scriptures that spoke to me on index cards and placed them around the house. I also recorded them with a tape player and listened in my car. I spoke these Scriptures out loud to myself. Things like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” began to come out of my mouth when I would feel anxious or afraid. I was beginning to change and it made me so happy.
I went through another hard season when my kids grew up and I became an empty nester. I poured my heart and soul into my family and, with my husband and Jesus, created a beautiful Christian home that I am so proud of today. But when my kids left it was so hard. There was a great deal of emptiness in my heart and I became depressed. I didn’t know how to live life with all of the changes that had come. I cried out to God again and He met me where I was. I kept reading and speaking the Word out loud over myself and it really helped. God also called me to start Help Club, and Jesus began creating a whole new life for me.
Fast forward several years to the Pandemic and I began to feel afraid again. I cried out to God, but this time, He gave me a new idea, and it came through my friend, Linda, whose husband had just been diagnosed with a horrible, inoperable brain tumor.
I called her to pray one day and she said that she had been worshipping for a couple of hours in her house right before I called. I was so amazed; I didn’t know it was something you did at home. I mean, I played worship music all the time, and I loved it, but the concept of worshipping at home like you did at church never crossed my mind. Linda then said to me, “How about I come over and we can worship?” She did, and from that moment on, I began worshiping God every morning before I read my Bible.
Then, over time, a miracle happened. The fear and anxiety began to leave. It was like my mind started to change and I was becoming this whole other person. For once in my life, I felt confident and I trusted God more. It’s as if by osmosis singing songs about the power of God, His character, dependability, and His love kicked off an internal work in my heart that brought me a feeling of peace as I have never known before, and two years later, I am still peaceful.
How about you my friend? Do you want to change?
Let the Word of God, prayer, and worship become a doorway to your changed life. Pray and ask God what He wants you to do, even asking Him for Scriptures to read and worship songs to sing. He will help you and you will be so happy you cried out to Him. I am praying for you!
Love, Deb Weakly
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