What is an HONOR LIST and why should I make one?

What does the word HONOR mean and why is it so important?

“Honor is the decision we make to place high value on another person.” – Gary Smalley

Why would honoring, or placing high value on, our spouse be an important decision? Because the value we attach to our husband, helps determines the success of our marriage.

Honor does not SET value, it just RECOGNIZES it. God already crowned our husbands with honor (Hebrews 2:7), it’s our job to recognize it. Romans 12:10 asks us to HONOR others (our spouses) above ourselves.


How we treat our husbands matters to God.


It’s easy to honor someone when they are kind and agreeable. It takes little effort to love someone easy to love.

Matthew 5:46 tells us:
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?

It’s challenging to love someone who’s a challenge. Any of us who’ve been married more than a week knows that we can each be a challenge.

So, instead of focusing on the ‘challenges,’ today I want you to think about your husband’s VALUE.

Let me encourage you to write down what you love and appreciate about your spouse. Call it the Love List or the Honor List. This is a list of the reasons your spouse is HIGHLY VALUED.

Why the list? Because of confirmation bias. Confirmation bias means that when we decide what we believe, we look for evidence to back it up.  If you’ve written down why your spouse is highly valued, you will look for (and begin to notice) the facts to back it up.

Put the list in an easy to find spot.

When you have a conflict, a fight, or you are not seeing eye-to-eye, grab the list and read it.  This is NOT the time to EDIT the list. The list will remind you why you love and value your spouse.

As you write your list, ask God to show you why HE loves your husband and why He sees your husband as honorable and valuable and write that down.

I encourage you to share the list with your husband. Speak the honor out loud. Tell your spouse what you love about him. I don’t know about you, but when I’m told I do something well, I try to continue that behavior.

My list is specific to my husband, but there are a few things I’ll share that might inspire you:

  • He showed what great taste he has when he chose me. 🙂
  • He’s fun to hang out with.
  • He has a great smile.
  • He works hard.
  • He teaches our sons things I would not know how to teach.

That’s just the beginning of my list. I wrote 15 things on our 15th anniversary and 40 things for his 40th birthday. Both were gifts to him. He said they were his favorite gifts.

The list is a reminder to me why he’s highly valuable. When I’m upset with him, the list reminds me why I chose him, and why I’ll KEEP choosing him.

Who’s in? Who will join me in making an Honor list today?


Kathryn Egly and the Help Club for moms

Kathryn Egly
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