“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” ~ John 15:13
My husband and I got married later than most of our friends. Before we even met, we had both established careers for ourselves and then left those careers to move from our perspective states in the US (Texas and Tennessee) to Africa for missions. I was already several years into single-handedly raising a South African child when we started dating. It is an understatement to say that we are both independent, strong-willed people!
The weekend before we married, a sweet couple who had been married for years sat us down and spelled it out for us: “The day you get married is the day you realize how selfish you are.”
We laughed about that nerve-wracking moment again and again as we have found out how true it is!
Marriage is a God-designed invitation to love and be loved more raw and intimately than any other relationship in this lifetime. The way Jesus first loved us was to say “No” to Himself so that God the Father could say “YES” to us. Jesus left heaven and entered humanity to walk through depravity and brokenness and experience the same desire and temptation you, and I do. He didn’t want to be tempted, mocked, tortured, and hung on a cross. But even more than that, Jesus wanted you and me to have a path to unity with God. He said “No” to Himself by willingly going to the cross to redeem our sins so God could say “Yes” to us as His beloved, righteous daughters.
Is there anything in your life you can say “No” to this week in order to say “Yes” to your marriage?
Mama, the same is true in our marriages. In the very big and the very small things, we have an opportunity to say “No” to ourselves so we can say “Yes” to our marriage. Even though continuously cooking and cleaning can feel exhausting to me, I often make a double portion of dinner before 8 am so I can get the kitchen cleaned early, knowing how important it is to my husband to come home to a clean, peaceful house. And there are leftovers for lunches! I’ve also been practicing taking some of my fears and struggles in our marriage to God first before bringing them up to my husband. I know continuous relationship talk can feel overwhelming to him. Often, I realize I don’t even need to talk to him about it. I just need to pray for my heart and pray for God’s favor and blessing over my husband and our marriage!
With Love and Prayers,
Kacy Ladd and the Help Club for Moms Team
Five years into single parenting in the African bush, a Tennessee man also entered the mission field. We met and decided to stay in South Africa and get married.
We are now living in Cape Town, South Africa building up the local church with our teenager and toddler boys.
Help Club for Moms became a lifeline to me when I was lonely on the mission field with a new baby in a foreign country. I am so thankful to write for this community and to document God’s work in my own family at http://www.ladd.family
- Kacy’s Little Devos: God Cares for the Desires of Your Heart - July 5, 2024
- Mom Tips Friday: Claim Your Ground! - May 31, 2024
- Prayers Around the World: Kacy Ladd South Africa - May 11, 2024