The Ministry of a Christian Stepmom
Mothers are important; we mold the hearts and minds of the next generation. This importance is not only true of birth and adoptive moms, but also stepmoms.
My parents divorced when I was young, and my dad remarried. Daddy had full custody of me, and so I lived with him and my stepmom full time. These short years became one of the most difficult seasons of my life. My parent’s recent divorce left me feeling wounded and broken. Furthermore, my stepmom didn’t want me, so I never felt loved and accepted living in her home. They divorced a short time later, and I felt relieved.
After their divorce, my dad dated a delightful woman named Sharon. Though they never married, and were only together a short time, I will always remember Sharon for the way she loved me like a daughter and taught me much about life. She was a beautiful example of a sweet mother-figure who chose to invest her life into a defeated young girl.
As a stepmom, you have the God-given potential to make an enormous difference in the lives of your stepchildren. I fervently believe this is a ministry given to you by God to show His love to your potentially wounded stepchildren and teens.
I don’t know your situation. The children’s mom may be fantastic, and if so the children are blessed. Much of the time, however, the mom may not be Christian, or may have deep wounds which make it hard for her to be the mom her children need. In any case, don’t ever underestimate the power of your ministry to your stepchildren. You will never replace their mom, but you can be a positive role model and someone who is always there for them and shows them the love of Jesus.
While praying over this study, I felt the Lord impressing on me to discuss five practical ways you can love well during this season of your life with your blended family in your home:
- Pray! Prayer is your greatest work in your home! Pray for your husband and for stepchildren to feel the love of Jesus in your home through you. Don’t forget to pray for the children’s mom and for healing to take place in her heart as well. Prayer changes everything!
- Be patient and keep loving, no matter what. The children may resent you, but just know they are hurting during this difficult season. Ask God to help you to love supernaturally with the love of Christ.
- Cook as much as possible! Break out your crock pot and make sure the children have delicious smells in the kitchen when they come home. Have dinners together as much as possible, even if you are all busy!
- Be present, available and listen. Be there! Try to be home when the children are home. Take the time to ask about their day and listen. Give lots of sweet hugs. Go to their sporting practices and events. Host their friends in your home for special dinners and sleepovers. Your relationship will take a significant investment of time, but it’s worth it!
- Stay positive as much as possible. Don’t ever vent about their mom, your husband, or any situation to the children. Let them be children. They have most likely been through a lot with their parent’s divorce and have wounds of their own. I lost my childhood and had to grow up fast because of my parent’s divorce; they probably have too. They need time and prayers to heal. The Lord is with them too!
If there was one thing Deb would love to share with you is that God is personal and loves you as you are. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved by our amazing God! Come as you are! His loving presence can be practically known and experienced. He is not a God who is far away, He is dearly near and easily found. He longs for you to come to Him!