“You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices.” Song of Solomon 4:9-10 (NLT)
Dating Your Husband Matters!
Summer is such a sweet season. The sun warms our bodies, the flowers make us smile…And is there anything better than watching our kids play gleefully at a park? Another wonderful thing that summer brings is the late sunsets and gentle nights, which are perfect for going on dates with our husbands. I have been married for 16 years, and I am still not an expert on dating my husband. Over the years, we have appreciated the times when a date would land in our laps, such as when grandparents were visiting, but we have struggled to make consistent dating a priority.
About six months ago, my husband and I both decided that our marriage needed to come first, and no matter what our schedule brought, we would have weekly date nights. With four children, we knew this would be difficult, but we challenged each other to take this new commitment seriously. We wanted to laugh more, create new memories, and grow our desire for each other. Today’s verse is a powerful reminder of what most of us had in the early years of marriage, but those thoughts and feelings take work after being together for a while. Deep down in our hearts, my husband and I both knew that we wanted our marriage to become exciting and romantic again and that it was worth the investment in time and money.
Over the years, I had wondered why going out on dates with my husband truly mattered. We regularly made time for each other at night, we were affectionate with each other and hardly ever fought. But we still knew there was more. God didn’t just create marriage to be a pleasant relationship that produces children. He created the union of marriage to forge two sinners together to sharpen, love, support, respect, and challenge the other, for a lifetime. This love is a serious commitment and takes great faith. I love the way Psalms 85:10 (AMP) uses the term “steadfast love,”— “Steadfast love and truth and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.”
Peace. That word describes just one of the results from intentional date nights with your spouse. As busy parents, it is hard to find time to truly connect. Date nights allow for unhurried conversation, which every marriage needs to grow. My husband and I have also appreciated that our date nights give us the chance to talk about things besides our kids and logistics. Mamas, aren’t you with me when I say that it is so special to just look into our husband’s eyes, and have him smile at us? My hope for you all this summer are many, many nights spent enjoying time with your husband.
Blessings and Love,
If you don’t have a trustworthy and reliable babysitter, pray about it. God will send you someone your children will love if that is what your hearts truly desires.
If money is a hindrance, pray for another couple friend you trust, and ask them if they would like to “trade” date nights with you. You watch their kids and then they watch yours. You and your husband get a weekly date without paying for a sitter and your children get a playdate. Win, win!
All too often on date night, my husband and I fall into the habit of talking about our children and/or scheduling issues. To counteract this routine, we have really enjoyed using these thoughtful questions. Take them with you the next time you and your hubby go out!
- What is your favorite Bible verse and why?
- If money were not an option, what job would you have? Also, where would you want to live?
- What was your proudest moment?
- When you get to heaven, what one question do you want to ask God?
- What is the sweetest thing I ever did for you?Another aspect of date night that can get stale is what you and your husband actually do. Going out to eat at a restaurant is always nice, but here are some other fun ideas!
Another aspect of date night that can get stale is what you and your husband actually do. Going out to eat at a restaurant is always nice, but here are some other fun ideas!
- Go on a hike and bring along a picnic.
- Visit a few model homes together and daydream/discuss ideas for your own home…or future home.
- Go to three different restaurants! One for appetizers, another for dinner, and then another (or bakery) for dessert. This idea is also a lot of fun if you can park near all the restaurants and then walk from place to place. A cute downtown adds to the festivity!
- Attend a concert, musical, TED talk, art gallery opening, or science exhibit together. Discuss this part of culture and why you like or dislike it.
- Go to Barnes and Noble and browse books together. Sit in the cafe and have a coffee or scone. Bring a pack of cards or the questions from above and just relax. Most Barnes and Nobles are open until 10:00 on the weekends!