“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10 (NLT)
I firmly believe that we mamas enjoy motherhood more when our husbands enjoy fatherhood more. Marriage and parenting go hand in hand after all and the full capacity of joy that God intended for us to experience in marriage happens when fathers and mothers intentionally work together and encourage one another. Dear friends, we can all agree that being a mother is hard, sacrificial work. We rarely receive appreciation from our children and we reach peak exhaustion almost daily. But I want us to shift our focus to our husbands right now, who also would say that being a father is tremendously difficult. Most of our husbands work and provide for their family, and then they are expected to be present and patient with the children as well. So how can we help them? How can we, as their wives, set our husbands up to be the star in our family?
Our husbands benefit from us helping build momentum and supporting their excitement with the kids. I firmly believe our husbands often just need space and a peaceful place to flourish as a father. They don’t need a helpmate who is constantly filling up their time with “hunny-do” lists and speaking to them with a demanding tone. Over my 13 years of being a mother, it is often my husband’s energy and silliness with the kids that keep me going. His love and passion for our children urge me to be a better mother and, to be honest, is one of the most attractive things about him. Dads have a unique role in their children’s lives and it is so helpful to them if we create shining moments for them and, at times, put ourselves in the background. Most of us get much more time with our children, so let’s all pray to put our needs aside and let our husbands thrive in our homes more.
Complimenting your husband and bringing attention to the little things he does with the children can also really make a difference in his confidence. Notice when he plays with the kids, even if it’s just for 15 minutes. Tell him he is a blessing, encourage him, and emphasize how much the kids love being around him. It is especially impactful if you give your hubby a compliment in front of the kids. Your children benefit from seeing their parents support and love one another. Our words are important and we, as wives and mothers, really have the opportunity to be our husband’s biggest cheerleader and supporter.
“Therefore encourage and comfort one another and build up one another, just as you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (AMP)
However, all too often, it is us, dear mamas, who distract and discourage our husbands when they just need us to come alongside and help create some space for them to be a father in their own silly, sometimes unorganized, way! My husband has always had a habit of taking our kids for ice cream at the most inconvenient times. Every mama knows what I mean. I will be making dinner, the kids will have just had a piece of candy, or maybe I feel like their behavior that day didn’t “earn” them a treat. But, during this moment it is so important for me to step aside and let my husband lead. It is absolutely critical for him to initiate these experiences with our kids and for us to jump in and help facilitate. Grab the kid’s jackets and shoes! Affirm your husband and tell him you are so happy he is doing this and that the kids LOVE spending time with him! Your support and encouragement may enhance his confidence and lead him to a deeper level of fatherhood.