“…But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.” Hebrews 10:38
Stop Scrolling and Start Believing
Do you ever feel bombarded by images of a perfect marriage? Simply scrolling down our social media feed on any given day can cause us to feel envious of posts shared showing perfect husbands and happy wives. These pictures can cause us to compare our husband or our family to our social media friends, and we may even find ourselves thinking, “Her husband bought her flowers for no reason. Why doesn’t my husband do that for me?” or “They really look like a happy family. I wish my family was happier.”
This comparison trap happened to me several years ago, and I am happy to say that I chose to unfollow some of my “friends” on social media because I grew weary of their “perfect” lives with their “perfect” families. I needed to guard my heart against unrealistic expectations for my life and my family. I am thankful to God for showing me a powerful truth: When we bite the apple of comparison, we dangerously begin to expect our husband or kids to perform or love us in certain ways, and that is downright unfair to them. Sister, let’s be honest for a moment. Most of us have certain expectations for our lives, but if these dreams and desires don’t line up with what God wants for our family, we are selling ourselves short of God’s best, and we will be sorely disappointed.
I knew I needed to stop complaining, so I began praying more fervently for my husband, and tried to stop focusing on things I wished he would change, and started looking for the good things he was doing instead. I began listening to him more and telling him how proud I was of him for something he was doing well. This really, really encouraged Randy and he even shared how much it meant to him that I was simply listening to him, instead of criticizing him for being grouchy. During this season, I learned there is power in the thoughts we think and the words we say about our husband and kids.
I once heard a story of a woman who made a tape recording of the positive things she loved about her husband and her marriage, and played them each morning while getting ready. Her husband was also getting ready at the same time and heard these positive things said about him and their marriage. I am sure that he must have felt cynical at first and doubted whether she meant the words that she spoke. Over time, though, their marriage got better and began to heal. Yes! Our words have power!
Today’s Scripture speaks powerfully of God’s desire for His children to live by faith. Do you ever think about what it means to live by faith? Living by faith means daily laying down our expectations for our lives and choosing to trust God and keep going, even when life gets hard. We show our faith by the thoughts we think, the words we say, and by placing our hope and trust in God. We live by faith in our marriage when we thank God for the things that are going right, instead of grumbling about our hurts and disappointments. I challenge you to focus where you want to go in your marriage, and not where you don’t want to go. Look for the good, my friend, and you will begin to find it, and your joy will increase.
Blessings and Love,
Take a moment right now and ask the Holy Spirit if you are comparing your husband or children to anyone else. If the answer is “Yes,” then hold old your hands and visualize yourself giving those thoughts to Jesus. Ask Him to help your relationships with your husband and kids to improve.
Proverbs 18:21a says, “The tongue has the power of life and death…” Your words have power and you should use them for good!
Download a voice recording app on your phone and say out loud ten things you love about your husband. You can even say, “Thank you God that my husband is _____.” That way, it’s a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord about your husband. Listen to that recording over and over as you get ready in the morning. Watch this one habit change the way you feel about your man!
I remember going into my daughter's room night after night and kneeling beside her bed and crying my heart out to God because I didn’t know how to be a Christian mom; I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. You know what? God is so faithful! He answered me and simply said, “Spend time with me, Deb.” And so I did. I began arising 15-30 minutes earlier each day so I could read my Bible and pray, and plan out my day with my family.
If there was one thing I would love to share with you is that God is personal and loves you as you are. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved by our amazing God! Come as you are! His loving presence can be practically known and experienced. He is not a God who is far away, He is near and easily found. He longs for you to come to Him!
Randy and I have been married for 28 years and we have two grown children, Christie, and Jack, and one answer to prayer son-in-law named Alex. And now I get to be a Gigi to my sweet little grandbaby, Aspen! Yay!