Encouragement for Bonus Moms

My dear friend, We hope you enjoyed the “Encouragement for Bonus Moms” plan on YouVersion. While praying over this devotional,  I thought about the things I needed from my different stepmoms when I was living with them. I felt the Lord impressing on me to discuss five practical ways you can love your stepchildren during this season with your blended family in your home:

  • Pray! Prayer is your greatest work in your home! Pray for your husband and stepchildren to feel the love of Jesus in your home through you. Don’t forget to pray for the children’s mom and for healing to take place in her heart as well. Prayer changes everything!
  • Be patient and keep loving, no matter what. The children may resent you, but know they are hurting during this difficult season. Ask God to help you love supernaturally with the love of Christ.
  • Cook as much as possible! Break out your crockpot and make sure the children have delicious smells in the kitchen when they come home. Have dinners together as much as you can, even if you are all busy!
  • Be present, available, and listen. Be there! Try to be home when the children are home. Take the time to ask about their day and listen. Give lots of sweet hugs. Go to their sporting practices and events. Host their friends in your home for special dinners and sleepovers. Your relationship will take a significant investment of time, but it’s worth it!
  • Stay positive as much as possible. Don’t ever vent about their mom, your husband, or any situation to the children. Let them be children. They most likely have gone through a lot of difficulties with their parent’s divorce and have wounds of their own. I lost my childhood and had to grow up fast because of my parent’s divorce; they probably have too. They need time and prayers to heal. The Lord will help them!

Questions to Ponder

  • If you are a stepmom– Pray and ask God to help you to love well. Ask Him to show you ALL of your children’s hearts and how to love them better and to teach you how to pray specifically for your family. Write the answers in your journal. If you don’t feel like you are getting a response from God, keep praying and asking until you get an answer. Be patient and know God hears and answers every one of our prayers.
  • If you know someone who is a stepmom-Pray and ask God how you can help support your friend and her family. Try to get to know the children and be a sweet “Auntie” they can look back on as someone who took an interest in their lives and loved them well.

Faith-Filled Idea

  • If you are a stepmom– Do something special with each of your children this month. If you don’t see your stepchildren often, try to Skype them or send them a note with some fun stickers or a gift certificate to a coffee shop.
  • If you know someone who is a stepmom- Take your friend’s kids out to a movie or stop by with a bagel pack or some treat they can enjoy. Call your friend who is a stepmom and encourage her by telling her you are proud of her. If she is a Christian, ask if you can pray for her.
Deb Weakly

38 Comments on “Encouragement for Bonus Moms”

  1. I am going to start this plan when I’ve finished the one I’m on. I need a lot of prayer for mine and my stepsons relationship. My husband and I got married when he was 12. I don’t really enjoy him but I’m there for all his events, we never argue, and he has no idea of my struggle. We have no common interests and he always has headphones in. I can’t hardly hold a conversation with him. I am really praying that this devotional will give me some kind of breakthrough because I never wanted to be this kind of stepmom.

  2. This devotional has been such a blessing. I actually did the devotional with one of my good friends who has 2 bonus and 1 biological who is the youngest. I’ve had my bonus babies since they were in 2nd grade, 1st grade, and 18 months. They are now 18 son, 16 daughter, and 11 daughter. We have since welcomed our son, who is now 3. There have been custody battles, ill wills, hurting but God continues to show himself strong. I love my babies and have always called them my munchkins but with the teen years weighing in and not agreeing with the oldest 2’s mother it has been difficult to deal with. So, we have 3 family dynamics and schedules and 2 custody orders to maneuver around. We stand on God’s word and i am thankful for this resource. Thank you!

    1. You are such a SWEET Mama, Miriam!! I know God sees your heart and is so proud of you!
      I am so glad you are here with us!

      If you would like to go deeper with our community, you can join the Help Club for Moms Online Group on Facebook. There are some amazing bonus moms in that group!! You can ask to join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/636391573213553

      May the Lord bless you!
      XXOO Deb

  3. Hi there!

    Thank you so much for the plan “encouragement for bonus mom”

    I was seeking this kind of group for a while. am a stepmom and the situation is tough with the parents. Aubree is five and I know I am in her life for a purpose. I have no one but God to guide me in this journey and we have fought the right battle. [My husband is also awesome. He made the room for me in Aubree’s life as a parent]

    It is not done yet, we are still fighting for custody. But!! God is the God of miracle 🙏🏻

    I needed encouragement and guideline, I found them with your ministry and I am not alone anymore in this situation.

    It feels so great to have people who can rely on the same situations.

    Thank you so much!
    Be blessed!! ✨✨🙏🏻💕

  4. Thank you for this! This plan has been a blessing. I have 2 bonus sons who we have full custody of and 1 biological daughter (with another on the way). It definitely has its challenges and there has definitely been some rewards from being a bonus mom! There’s a lot of underlying issues and traumas that have happened to the boys from their mom not making the best decisions. It is nice to see these encouraging words! Thank you for listening and please say prayers for us all as a family during this time!

  5. I am getting married in three weeks to the most wonderful man. He has two grown daughters.From the moment I met these women I knew I couldn’t call them step children. When I found your reading plan with the word bonus it made all the difference. They truly are a bonus. Oh what a glorious word BONUS. I truly hope they know how much I appreciate them. How much I appreciate what they’re doing for us. Due to logistics I am unable to do be there for much of the wedding planning. They have stepped in way beyond measure, and I am truly blessed to becoming part of such a loving family. Those wonderful women are truly the B0NUS!! Thank you for such a wonderful reading plan

  6. I needed to do this plan. I’ve been a bonus mum for eight years. Three of which full time since their mum passed away. Thank God for putting me onto this plan. Amen

  7. I have been a bonus mom for over 12 years and feel so blessed by my husband, our two oldest girls (my step daughters), and three biological children. I found this devotion as we (especially me) have been struggling with our teens-it renewed my faith and confidence to keep loving and trying through Christ. It’s a challenging road but He will give the strength to endure. Thank you!

  8. Just wanted to drop a Thanks 😊, this devotional has truly blessed me as well as given me direction. I pray God blesses you back for being such a blessing.

  9. Thank you for helping me to understand why bonus kids can be so resentful regardless of how much we love them and do for them. Pray for my hurting family in Jesus’ name.

  10. This devotional has been such a blessing in my life these last few weeks! I’m a bonus mom to a beautiful little girl and we have had challenge times in these last few months! I came across this devotional on the Bible app and it has blessed me in so many ways!! Thank you!!

  11. So glad I stumbled upon this plan, I am a bonus mom of 2 a girl and boy who lost their Mom 7 years ago. I became their bonus mom 4 years after their Mom passed away.

    These devotionals and scriptures help give me more strength and insight. I love my kiddos and I am trying to be the best Mom I know how to be. I don’t always feel as if I am, but I am praying that God sees it and they feel it.
    Its difficult, its rewarding, I cry when I feel that I’m not connecting the way I feel I should.its work.
    Keep me in prayer as well.❤

    1. Hello Taneshia,
      I am so thankful you are here with us. I am so proud of the way you are loving your children. The Lord is with you and cares deeply for you and your family. Don’t give up. He is right there with you.
      We are praying for you.

  12. So thankful for this resource. I don’t have biological kids of my own so dealing with an only child step daughter isn’t easy. We don’t see her that often as she lives 6 hours away which also makes things harder. It’s like I have to get used to her being here all over again each time. I try my best to make sure that she & her dad spends time together because girls need their daddie’s. I know I’m probably rambling on, thanks for “listening “

    1. Hello, Dottie,
      I am so proud of your heart for your daughter. The Lord sees you and hears your prayers. He will help you and give you everything you need.
      We are so thankful you are here with us. I am praying for you right now.
      In Christ,

  13. Thank you for this devotional plan!! It was by far one of my favorites!!! Being a bonus mom to two little boys (#boymom) has been soo amazing but there have been times I was unsure and figuring out where I fit in the equation. especially when the boys biological mom and my fiancé don’t see eye to eye.

    1. I am so proud of you Charvae for the way you love your precious boys!! I am so proud of you for working so hard with both families. The Lord is with you!

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