A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

love your husband day 6

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” 1 Peter 3: 1-2

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be.” –Stephen R. Covey


  • Grab your journal and a pen and find a cozy place to sit. Relax and enjoy this peaceful time with God. Pray that the Spirit will speak to you personally today.
  • Read 1 Peter 3:1-6. Write verse 1-2 in your journal.

A Gentle & Quiet Spirit

Neither my husband nor I was following God when we began dating. I encountered God and became a believer about a year into our relationship. Mike and I began attending church together, discussed our beliefs, and even met with a pastor a couple of times before we married. However, it eventually became apparent that we were not on the same page spiritually.

I desperately wanted to share my faith with my husband, but everything I said and did only pushed him away. I wanted him to agree and connect with me on a different level, but my words came across as nagging and criticizing. The doting newlywed phase didn’t last long before we grew frustrated and distant. The topics of God and the Bible consistently brought contention.

I spent years trying to convince my husband that he should love and follow Jesus before I realized God has a better way. He clearly told me (and reminded me often!) that Mike “may be won over without words [by my behavior],” (1 Peter 3:1b). I listened to God and stopped using the Bible as a tool to change my husband. I did share with him the lessons I was learning, but they were about my personal growth and personal relationship with my Savior. I read Proverbs 31 so many times and focused on becoming the woman God created me to be.

It took humility to step aside and wait for God to do His work. In this trying time, my faith in God grew drastically. I realized God sees me; He knows my heart. He sees my struggles and intercedes to help. God taught me to believe the best about Mike and see him through his Creator’s eyes. I learned to wait on the Lord and trust that My Father is building a strong foundation for our lives and our marriage that cannot be broken. My Savior comforted me and gently whispered, “Be still and know that I am God,” (Psalm 46:10a).

God’s words “will not return to [Him] empty, but will accomplish what [He] desire[s],” (Isaiah 55:11a). I needed to hold my tongue and wait for the few powerful Spirit-led words.

This struggle blessed me and our marriage as I grew in faith and maturity. I learned to pray fervently, lay my pride and sin at the cross, and cling to the hope that God would do the rest. And He did. In His own time, and in His way. My husband did not come to a deeper relationship with God because of me or through me. He formed his personal relationship with His Savior on his own, and through that everlasting bond, our relationship as husband and wife is infinitely stronger.

A few months before Mike confessed Jesus as his Savior, I was praying fervently for him when a line from “I am Redeemed” came to me and brought me to tears: “Stop fighting a fight that’s already been won.” My Heavenly Father was telling me that He had already answered my prayer. He had already placed a deep yearning for Truth in Mike’s heart. He had already provided the godly friends, mentors, and books that He knew Mike would need. God formulated His strategy long ago and had been moving slowly and deliberately for years. He let me be part of that plan by simply waiting and praying with a gentle and quiet spirit so that I could witness His victory.

Questions to ponder

  • Give thanks for your husband, and remember that he is God’s gift to you! Remember why you married this man, and look at him through the eyes of the doting fiancée you once were. Write down your favorite qualities about your husband and thank God for him.
  • Pray that God will help you see your husband and treat him as the man he can and should be. Ask God to reveal to you any ways in which you are not giving your husband grace.

Faith-Filled Idea

  • In Revelation 2:5, the Church is reminded to “Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.” The same charge can be given to spouses, as our marriages are intended to be a reflection of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:24-25).
  • This week, find some way to bless your husband. Maybe do something special you used to do that has fallen by the wayside over the years. Maybe just take a few minutes to write a note, get his favorite snack, or speak to his love language. You are building a strong foundation on biblical truth so that when (not if) the storms come, your relationship with your husband as well as your relationship with your Creator will stand strong.



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Heather Doolittle
Latest posts by Heather Doolittle (see all)

10 Comments on “A Gentle and Quiet Spirit”

  1. This is such an amazing lesson. Something I, as a wife, and mother even, could do better at. Not getting in God’s way. Stepping back vocally and pray earnestly for my husband. I think as wives we want to share every bit of our growth and spiritual lives with our husbands but for some of us, that can become a major burden to our husbands that may not be in the same place spiritually. It’s so difficult to not try and “help” our husbands “catch up”so we can share it with them. But, that could be doing more harm than good. Love the part about just stepping back and pray and Let God do his thing because he ultimately does have his own plan for or husbands. Thank you so much Heather for this encouragement!

    1. Thank you, Brandi. You make a really good point about husbands sometimes being in a different place spiritually. Mike became a believer about eight years after I did, but letting go and waiting on God made the wait so much easier.

  2. Oh Heather! This is so beautiful and encouraging!! God is going to use your story to change marriages! Thank you for being obedient to God’s calling of you as a wife and encouraging others to wait on the Lord and trust Him for miracles that He is already working. You are such a blessing and encouragement! He is doing good things and our hope is always in Him!!

  3. Heather, This is absolutely beautiful! I love how you heard the voice of God and obeyed, and I love knowing Mike and what a godly man he is today. What a blessing it is to know Jesus!

    1. Yes, Deb, it’s amazing to see how much God has transformed Mike (and me!) over the years. I never could have expected him to become the godly man, loving husband, and caring father that God had planned. ?

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