“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
We all want to be good moms and have a great relationship with our kids. As parents, it can be easy to assume that all children feel loved the same way, but that is not the case.
All humans, even children, are designed by God to receive and give love differently. By “speaking” your child’s love language, your child will feel even more loved by you and by God.
I know that you show your children love on a daily basis; a hug, a kiss, wiping the tears, providing them with food, clothing, a warm bed to sleep in, all of these are expressions of love. You know that you have shown love to your children, but ask yourself, “When was the last time my child really felt my love?”
Although love languages are as different and unique as your children are, most fit into one of five categories:
- Quality time and conversation– Your child desires to be around you all the time. They seek out your attention and love for you to talk to them, play with them, and show interest in what they are doing. They LOVE to be with you!
- Touch– Your child is very touchy, huggy, and snuggly. They love to hold your hand, and they often ask for extra hugs and kisses. Rejection of their need for touch can make them feel very rejected.
- Words of Affirmation– Your child responds to praise, compliments, affirmation, and words of encouragement. These are all like fuel to your child’s soul. This child will also be more affected by harsh words of discipline.
- Gifts-Your child sees receiving any kind of gift as very special. They will often remember who gave them what gift and when. These children are often the ones who keep mementos in a special place and have a hard time getting rid of things.
- Acts of Service- This child looks for ways in which to help others. This may be the child that will volunteer to help with things around the house like cleaning or folding laundry or cooking dinner. They may even do this without being asked or told.
Please remember that if you have more than one child, it is more than likely that each of your children has a different love language. It may take some time to figure out which language is the one that “speaks” to them the most. Pay attention to how your child shows love and affection to other people. Watch your child during their playtime; how they interact with other children or even with their toys. The more you pay attention, the more you will discover.
If you still need help in understanding your child’s love language, click the link to take the Love Language Quiz.
The whole point of understanding and using love languages is the concept of filling each other’s love tank. And doing things that fill our child’s love tank in the specific way that they need it, sends the message loud and clear to your child – I AM LOVED.
Blessings as you learn your child’s love language,
Susie and the Help Club for Moms Team
To learn more about Susie’s ministry, Between the Gardens, visit her website at susieoneal.org