“For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
“Mom, I Don’t Think I Believe In God Anymore” & Other Mommy Nightmares
It’s the stuff nightmares are made of.
“Mom, I don’t see anything wrong with getting drunk if you are old enough.”
“How do you know there is a God? He sure doesn’t seem real to me!”
“If there is a God, why does Grandpa have cancer?”
“I don’t think there is anything wrong with living together and not being married.”
And the list goes on and on…
What do we do when our kids come to us with their doubts and questions? The first thing I would suggest is to stay calm and not blow a gasket!
Christian college chaplains have informed me that it is developmentally normal for teens and college-aged kids to wrestle with the questions of their faith. This is how they learn to own their own convictions. But it is a process of growth that may take some time.
Our daughter Christie once thought that God spoke to everyone but her. She felt like her quiet times were lifeless, and she never heard from God—ever. I remember praying and praying for God to speak to her and for her to learn how to hear God’s voice.
By the grace of God, Christie was involved in an internship the summer of her 16th year in which the students and leaders went through the Bible study Experiencing God. That study really clicked with her and helped her learn how to hear God’s voice for herself. Now, Christie loves God and hears from Him regularly. She has a depth to her soul that would not have been there had she not gone through her time of questioning.
If you have a teen or college student who may be going through a season of doubt, simply stay calm, pray, and trust God. Whatever happens, “Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ” (Philippians 1:27). Don’t blow up or freak out, and don’t assume the worst of your kids.
Remind your kids that God loves them and tell them how much you admire their faith. Let your older kids know that their questions are okay because it shows that they are developing their own faith in God. Tell them how thankful you are that they come to you and trust you with their questions. Let them know that you believe in them and that God is leading them.
I have seen parents pray about their child’s lack of faith in a negative way—within earshot of their kids. Please, please, never do that! Don’t ever let your kids think that you believe they are lost, especially your adult kids. God will never let them go and wants none of them to perish.
Remember, the Holy Spirit has access to our children’s hearts and minds and will be speaking to them. He will work in mysterious and miraculous ways!
“Being confident of this; that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)
God is working. He will never let your children go! Keep the lines of communication open and remember that if they don’t come to you, they will most likely go to their friends or culture with their doubts. You want them to come to you and know that you are always on their side and will always believe in them! You serve a big God, and He is in love with your children and will pursue them all of their lives!
Blessings and Love,
- Do you struggle with fear as a mom? What are your top three fears with your kids? Write them in your journal. Then, find a Bible verse that speaks to that fear.
Here is one of my fears:
I worried that because I wasn’t raised in a Christian home, my kids would not grow up to love God. A verse that helped me was “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace” (Isaiah 54:13). I prayed this verse for my kids frequently. It helped me remember that God was the one who was in charge of teaching my kids to follow Him and that He would draw them to Himself.
As our kids were growing up, we loved celebrating! I purchased a “This is Your Day to Celebrate” plate from Pampered Chef to help birthdays and other fun days feel more special. Celebrate the anniversary of your kids’ salvation and baptism dates to help them remember how they came to Christ.
I remember going into my daughter's room night after night and kneeling beside her bed and crying my heart out to God because I didn’t know how to be a Christian mom; I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. You know what? God is so faithful! He answered me and simply said, “Spend time with me, Deb.” And so I did. I began arising 15-30 minutes earlier each day so I could read my Bible and pray, and plan out my day with my family.
If there was one thing I would love to share with you is that God is personal and loves you as you are. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved by our amazing God! Come as you are! His loving presence can be practically known and experienced. He is not a God who is far away, He is near and easily found. He longs for you to come to Him!
Deb is married to her soulmate of 28 years, Randy. They have two grown children, Christie and Jack, and one precious, answer to prayer son-in-law named Alex.