Hey Mamas! I wanted to write something profound and encouraging to you today, but I will be honest, I couldn’t…or I wouldn’t—I’m not sure which it is—or maybe it’s both. You see I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally tired. No, not just tired, exhausted, that kind of exhausted that seeps down into the marrow and makes you ache.
I am toast.
There is no energy left in my spiritual tank to even scrape the charred parts off with a knife. I don’t want to pretend to feel something I don’t or come across like I’m so super spiritual that I don’t feel the weight of the world like an anchor that tethers me to this dark and sad place I find myself in. In a culture full of filters, I needed to share the real me.
So I called one of my best friends. She is the kind of friend that you can call and ramble incoherently through the ugly cry and she patiently listens. She is like a lighthouse that helps me find my way when I am blinded by this thick fog of sadness.
She always says the right thing, even when it is difficult to hear. She always has a scripture and a word from God illuminating the shroud of darkness I am swimming in. She told me I’m trying to do too much in my own strength and it’s making me tired. She told me that I forget that I have a Savior who is willing to take my burden and that is why I feel weak.
I say ugly things about myself when I get this way and she told me to remember I am made in the image and the likeness of God and to see myself the way he sees me. She told me that I’m sinking like quicksand in negativity and that gratitude is the rope that will pull me out.
If you’re feeling the same way I’m feeling, I want to hug you so badly. I want to hold your hand and pray for you. I want to tell you all the things that I can’t say to myself. Just know you don’t have to pretend. You don’t always have to be so strong. I’m reaching out to take your hand in mine and tell you it’s okay to not be okay and to surrender it all to God.
Love to you all,
Susie and the Help Club for Moms Team
To learn more about Susie’s ministry, Between the Gardens, visit her website susieoneal.org.