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Humility: The Key to a Great Marriage

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 “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:5

“Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you.”  -Andrew Murray

 

  • Call your prayer partner for your 10 Minute Prayer Call. Keep trying to connect until you can pray together. What a blessing it is to have someone who cares and can pray with you!
  • Read Philippians 2:1-11. For deeper, life impacting study, read the whole chapter. Write verses 3-5 in your journal. Take a moment to ponder the deep meaning of these verses. Drink them in as if you possess an inside view into the exact heart of Christ: like you now have x-ray vision to examine the most inward part of your loving Savior, what He values and what is very important to Him. Ask God to speak specifically to your heart about Christ’s humility, and for the strength and grace to be like Jesus to your husband.

Humility: The Key to a Great Marriage

When I prayed and asked God what to write to you about the topic of marriage, His answer was the same as in all of the other Bible Studies: talk about the Word of God and Prayer. There is nothing more important in all of your life and nothing that will help and bless your marriage like the reading of scripture and faithful prayer.

While living in this world, we hear many voices which tell us how to fix our marriage, but when we read the Word of God faithfully, we hear the Voice of the One who gently calls to us each day in truth.

Jesus IS Truth, and is the One to whom we must make every effort to listen. This true Voice tells us to be humble and to love others deeply. He not only tells us, but He also shows us. Jesus shows us the way of love by His example and His life of love and humility. One look at today’s verses, and we see the real picture of humility- Christ’s humility.

We are told in scripture to be like Jesus in every way, and especially to imitate Christ’s humility. He knows what’s best for us. When we choose daily to die to ourselves and love our husbands in humility, most of our problems will disappear. Pride is the number one reason and the root of all contention. (Conflict)

“Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.” Proverbs 13:10.

When we purpose each day to live in humility, change begins to occur. We argue less, and there is less competition, and we replace the desire to be right with the desire to love and to serve. We have God’s help, power, and wisdom to have a better marriage.

“He leads the humble in what is right and teaches the humble his way.” Psalm 25:9

Conversely, when we are prideful, God’s Word says that He opposes us!

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want God opposing me! I want to be humble, and I need more of God’s help and grace.

Humility doesn’t come naturally, but it is possible to be humble supernaturally. When we pray and ask God to help us to be humble, He delights to help us, but if you’re like me, you have to pray this prayer every 10 minutes or so, simply because pride is so deeply ingrained in our very being. Change is hard!

The best analogy I have ever heard of trying to institute lasting change is to think of trying to master a new habit like playing the piano. You will never get good at the piano if you don’t practice- all the time!

How many times have we fussed at our children because they forget to practice?  My kids would slack on the piano practice from time-to-time in our home, and when it happened, all I could think about was all of the money spent and time invested. Luckily, my children would usually come to their senses and purpose to practice, and the result was always beautiful music playing in our home.

Practice is essential for success!

We need to practice choosing humility. The more we choose to respond in humility, the easier it will become. Don’t get discouraged if you mess up at first, just keep trying! Be like Dori the fish in Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!”

Start today to ask God to help you to be humble in your life and your marriage. Keep asking over and over if you have to. Watch the change begin. You will be amazed!

 Questions to Ponder: Answer these questions in your journal

  • In what ways do you struggle with pride?
  • Do you long for things to be fair, do you want to have your way or be right
  • How does this show up in your marriage?

Faith-Filled Idea:

  • Pray and ask God to help you to honor your husband and love him in humility.
  • Listen to him. Don’t cut him off if he is repeating a story he has already told you before. Look him in the eyes! Really listen to him today.
  1. This week, do something he wants to do. Watch a movie that he wants to see. Eat where he wants to eat or make his favorite meal that you don’t care for.
  2. If a conflict occurs, really listen to his side and don’t automatically rush to defend yourself. Remember, when we are prideful and want to win, God is opposing us!
  3. Write the phrase, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming” on three sticky notes,  and place one at your kitchen sink, one on your bathroom mirror, and one in your car. Let them serve as a reminder to you to keep trying to choose to be like Jesus and imitate His humility. For extra accountability, tell you husband and children about your new commitment to try to be more humble.

 love your husband day 1

Join the Community!

Answer today’s question in the comment box so we can all get to know one another! We at the HCFM are praying for our online community to build relationships, even if they are across the country or the world!

-What do you love the most about your husband?

Deb Weakly

Co-founder at Help Club for Moms
Deb is married to her soulmate of 26 years, Randy. They have two grown children, Christie and Jack, and one precious, answer to prayer son-in-love named Alex.

If there was one thing Deb would love to share with you is that God is personal and loves you as you are. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved by our amazing God! Come as you are! His loving presence can be practically known and experienced. He is not a God who is far away, He is dearly near and easily found. He longs for you to come to Him!

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17 Comments

  1. This study about humility it so good and something I’ve been trying to focus on…as hard as it is! I’m the one who always wants to be right, so I have some pride I need to put aside and this study really will help me!

    • I agree Kristall! Our pride is so ingrained and can be difficult to identify! God is so good to gently show us areas we need to surrender to Christ and ask for his help to overcome! He is so faithful to help us when we ask!

  2. Yes, both this week and last I was able to do a lot of the tips. I was able to make my bed 4 days last week. (My hubby noticed too! 🙂 ) I like the reminder to know what’s for dinner and set meat out to defrost.
    Last week I was out of the house for 3 days in a row. I used your weekly planner to give my 15 year old some guidance for what to do w/kids while I was away. I also used it to put my dinner menu together and remind myself to defrost meat. I put it on my fridge and used it all week! However, this week, I haven’t had time to do anything but plan out my menu. 🙂

    • I Love that Sharon! I don’t usually make my bed regularly, but lately I have been. It’s really nice to crawl into a made-up bed:) Thanks so much for your insight! 🙂

  3. 1. Are you doing the Mommy Tips? Be honest:) Only some of the tips, and on my really busy week, I didn’t even look at them.
    2. Why or why not? I’m not making it my goal to do all of the tips. I just implement the tips that are simple or the ones that I read and think, “I need this in my life right now.”
    3. What can we do to make it easier to do the Mommy Tips? I think having the tips for two weeks will be good. So will discussing the tips at monthly meetings. I might skip some and then decide to try them after hearing how other moms are using them.

    • I agree Heather. I also like the idea of covering them at our meeting. That way it can plant a seed for them to do them:)

    • Hi Deb! I agree with Heather… I do the tips that I’m feeling like I need to add into my life right now. And I also agree with her idea of making it a 2 week plan, then discussing at your meeting.

  4. I loved today’s study! Thanks Deb. 🙂

    I am doing about half of the mommy tips. I have not gotten a whole page done yet, but I am thrilled with what I have implemented so far.

    I think I shared with you that I don’t feel bothered or under pressure when I don’t finish something, so I am fine with that. However, I know that is hard for many women. I think once the study officially starts and you are doing one mommy tip page for two weeks, most moms will be able to finish.

    • Thanks so much Rachel! I appreciate all that was said last night about the Mommy Tips. I really feel the new structure will be better:)

  5. Very relevant for us right now Deb. Thank you!

  6. I loved doing this day of study last week! I feel so encouraged, even now, to allow God to remove all roots of pride in my marriage. You gave some amazing advice in this one Deb!! Last week, I was only able to choose a few of the mommy tips to implement. In other weeks, I pretty much did them all, and then there was one crazy week that I didn’t do any. The weeks that I have done all (or mostly all) of the mommy tips have flown so well. It’s my goal to do nearly all of them every week. If I can’t, for whatever reason (on busy weeks I have a more difficult managing my time at home honestly), I try not to be too hard on myself and start fresh the next week. I love the mommy tips!!! They are teaching me to live an intentional life in my home. 🙂

    • I am so thankful that you are not hard on yourself Tara! I really want the whole program to feel like there is lots of freedom to live our lives and not have one more thing stressing us out:)
      I agree. Pride is quite the obstacle to love:) Thanks for all you do! 🙂

  7. I loved this study! 🙂 I did look at the mommy tips at first and found the complete list a bit overwhelming. At that point I didn’t look at them as much because it just felt like too much to try to tackle amidst all the other things I want to focus on as a mother. It helped me when you said to just pick one or two tips. I feel good when I see something I’m already doing because I feel like I’m on the right track! I think they are wonderful to have, but it’s good to keep reminding the Type A people like me that we don’t have to do it all because we either feel bad for not doing them, or ignore them altogether because we can’t accomplish them. I love having the husband tips in there this week too. I think for me I will try to focus on one mom tip and one husband tip each week.

    • I absolutely agree Kristen! We talked about this last night at the meeting, and came up with a do-able plan for the Mommy Tips that might make them more easily completed, with no pressure.:)

  8. I am doing the “Mommy Tips”. 🙂 Life has been filled with several weeks of out of town visitors for a week or two at a time each….so time has been a bit more limited than the first two weeks of the pilot program. I am asking the Lord which tips would be most helpful to try on for size and then not feeling guilty about the rest. Thanks for the freedom in it, Deb! Our latest surprise guests are my daughter, son-in-law and grandson from Indiana that came to help me celebrate my birthday yesterday!

    • Yay! I love that they came for your birthday Lisa! What a gift!
      I am so thankful that you feel freedom to go at your own pace. That’s very important to me! 🙂

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