Dear Bonus Mom, You Are Not Alone

God has entrusted your stepchildren to you. Some days that can feel pretty overwhelming. What do you do when you feel overwhelmed in your role as a bonus mom? Some of the answers I have heard from others go something like, “I lock myself in the bathroom or shower and cry,” or “I call my girlfriends and talk,” “I pray,” or “I go for a walk”. So, what do you do?

I have tried a lot of things over the years when I have felt overwhelmed or misunderstood, however, the only thing that has truly helped me has been spending time with God, and lots of it. When I look back on my rough seasons the only constant thing that I see is how God pulled me through or gave me some piece of hope that I needed to keep going. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

When I am faced with lies that others spread about me or the target that is placed on me for simply being a stepmom, and all I want to do is defend myself and my husband, I remember that God is fighting my battles and I need only to be still (Exodus 14:14).

When I feel like I am failing at my job of being a mom or wife I remember that God will help me through all of it and give me the tools I need to lead my family to Christ (Proverbs 22:6).

When I feel like things will not get better and that everything around me is falling apart, I will remember that God will help me THROUGH the valleys and He promises to protect me and to bless me (Psalm 23:4 and Jeremiah 29:11).

Mamas, God sees you. You are not alone in your battles and He is fighting for you. Trust in Him and lean into Him. Your role as a bonus mom is SO important in these children’s lives. They need you and the example of what a Godly woman looks like.

Blessings and Love,


Danielle Novotny
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